Essay 6.1

Penis Envy

It is natural in any case to want to possess or even be jealous of someone that has something that you do not. They say, “You always want what you can’t have.” In essence this is true on so many levels. Penis envy is merely a gender related case dealing with this exact issue. This refers more so to the “power” that the possession of a penis symbolizes then the physicality of naturally having a penis. That distinction is what makes this such an intriguing topic. This specific form of envy deals more with the pursuit of figuratively controlling a penis rather than literally having one as part of your physical structure.
As time passes many have noticed “penis envy” and have tried to analyze it to the best of their ability. The study of this occurrence is much larger than simply classifying it as a battle of the sexes. Sigmund Freud argues that all women go through a period where they recognize that little boys have a penis and they do not. They also recognize, based on the rolls of “mommy” and “daddy”, that men have more “power” than woman. This leads females to associate the possession of a penis with strength and power. Naturally, having an inkling as to what is required to acquire such power they develop a desire to control a male since they physically do not possess a penis themselves. This is where the situation begins to affect everyone regardless of gender. In this pursuit of a penis to control it is likely that females would start with relationships that are close and deal with their everyday lives. Primarily family member s and significant others would suit this role best.
In the case of family members the easiest target is obviously the one that is already established as the provider. The father already has to tend to making sure that every aspect of his daughter’s life is met. He should, in most cases, naturally be protective of her and will do anything in his power to ensure a safe and stable life for his daughter. It is more or less his protocol to make sure she is happy. This is where the simplest of strategies takes effect. It is easy to for the daughter to push the father’s natural sense of duty past necessity and into extravagance. I personally have seen this very scenario play out in real life through one of my ex’s. The habit of having everything so accessible through her father made the temptation to abuse that right evident. Naturally this is when penis envy goes into full effect. The opportunity is seized and then becomes the new habit. Being a single father it is sad to say he is easiest of prey. The role of provider has been abused and many times beyond reproach.
The family scenario does however incorporate many different levels of involvement. As easily as the father to daughter or provider to offspring relationship can be abused so can seniority status between siblings. It is natural from there to be a sense of rank between siblings usually defined by age and to a lesser extent gender. However, when the eldest of that situation is a female and there are younger male subordinates there is an opportunity for the female to act out her penis envy. I myself, have both an older and younger sister. I can testify to the presence of penis envy in a sibling relationship. When there is an opportunity to abuse power I s more than likely the person will take it. In my situation that was the case. I dealt with submitting to my older sister despite the fact many times is simply an abuse of power or rank. To another extent this kept me from passing on the power trip to my younger sister as I was the only male. When I was challenged by my younger sister it often led to my older sister intervening on her behalf. I was simply outnumbered and had very little I could do in my own defense.
On a larger scale it is natural for any human being to seek a mate. It is our protocol as mammals and sentient beings eventually branch out from our immediate family. This is where we as people play trial and error with our significant others in pursuit of finding a compatible match. Unfortunately this is yet another outlet for women to act on their penis envy. Not to say all women simply search for men they can control but it does happen on different levels. Sometimes this is very apparent in the case of a “vamp” or “succubus”. These terms refer to women that blatantly use men to acquire or accomplish certain things. In the words of Annie Lennox, “Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be abused.” Other women are a little more subtle about their methods, but then again we are all guilty of manipulating our significant others in one way or another. I myself try to steer clear of similar situations but I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy spoiling my own female counter parts. In a sense this situation can be viewed as more of a case of personal judgment but there is definitely a clear and present opportunity for penis envy to influence this relationship.
As part of a larger social structure our society has it’s own ways of distinguishing authority and rank. Specifically in our modern day world a person regardless of gender can own certain items to try to establish themselves as a powerful force. Penis envy has a very powerful role here. As men go through their lives they want certain things to represent them and their accomplishments. Men will go out and buy a house, sports car, or even just a big gun. Women are subject to the same kind of symbolism. Penis envy can be acted out through the same kind of agents. A woman can acquire these same things to in a sense compete on the same level. Although with the exception of the gun I do not believe material possessions necessarily hold any kind of bearing with status. In the words of Jadakiss, “Whoever got the most ratchets (guns) is in power.” In our current society this is true. In the last couple of generations however woman have been more frequently taking jobs that involve the use of force. By all means, if a woman wants to put herself in the line of fire to feel more powerful that is her problem. Putting herself in harm’s way though, she cannot be shocked that she can meet the same fate as male in that same position. More than ever there are now women in the armed forces and law enforcement. To a lesser extent the urban or street level society as well which is definitely structured by force as power. I happen to think women in uniform are attractive. Specifically female officers of the NYPD which would otherwise also fit the regular criteria I look for in a female. Then again, I am far from a model citizen so this leads back the source of penis envy. The want for something you cannot have.