Tuesday, December 15, 2009

"Sleep Dealer"

At the very least "Sleep Dealer" is a film that describes a point of view on the progression of the abuse of slightly foreign workers such as Mexicans in this case. Despite the legalities involved in the citizenship of real life Mexican migrant workers they are a very important factor to the American work force. This film which can easily be juxtaposed to the "Matrix" which we also screened in class reflects on their involvement in the world we see around us in reference to how we live our lives. In this film there is a look at a possible but at the moment exaggerated future.
In this film the characters who are Mexican are linked to a system which converts their physical energy and sends it to work places in the U.S. The main character, Memo, is a young man who has left his families farm in search of a better life. Unfortunately this improvement he seeks comes at a high cost as it does for Mexican migrant workers in the present day. He eventually does acquire a job that requires him to implant nodes into his body. These nodes act as an open tap to physical energy. When working, cables are linked to the nodes to extract this energy. Lenses are placed on the eyes so the worker can see what he is doing at the physical work place.
As time progresses Memo notices the harsh reality of what is actually going on. His energy is being sent to a robot on a construction site in an American city. The robot obviously makes for a better worker seeing as it does not suffer from many of the same flaws the human body does. The cost of this seemingly productive system though is the effect the human body being drained is subject to. Some workers like Memo are pulling extensive shifts. These work hours would take their toll on any human being even in the present day. This exploitation however is in a sense by choice. The people working in this work place simulation obviously took the job out of need. The long term affects are much more then what they bargained for. Some people died and those that didn't were permanently disabled.
Although this is not exactly what the "Matrix" portrays as a synthetic reality there are many common ideas. The sense that in one way or another this technological progression we glorify in the present day will lead to the demise of our fundamental humanity. Our physical energy powering machines that we depend on. We all want technology to provide us with more convenience in our future, but at what cost?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Essay 6.1

Penis Envy

It is natural in any case to want to possess or even be jealous of someone that has something that you do not. They say, “You always want what you can’t have.” In essence this is true on so many levels. Penis envy is merely a gender related case dealing with this exact issue. This refers more so to the “power” that the possession of a penis symbolizes then the physicality of naturally having a penis. That distinction is what makes this such an intriguing topic. This specific form of envy deals more with the pursuit of figuratively controlling a penis rather than literally having one as part of your physical structure.
As time passes many have noticed “penis envy” and have tried to analyze it to the best of their ability. The study of this occurrence is much larger than simply classifying it as a battle of the sexes. Sigmund Freud argues that all women go through a period where they recognize that little boys have a penis and they do not. They also recognize, based on the rolls of “mommy” and “daddy”, that men have more “power” than woman. This leads females to associate the possession of a penis with strength and power. Naturally, having an inkling as to what is required to acquire such power they develop a desire to control a male since they physically do not possess a penis themselves. This is where the situation begins to affect everyone regardless of gender. In this pursuit of a penis to control it is likely that females would start with relationships that are close and deal with their everyday lives. Primarily family member s and significant others would suit this role best.
In the case of family members the easiest target is obviously the one that is already established as the provider. The father already has to tend to making sure that every aspect of his daughter’s life is met. He should, in most cases, naturally be protective of her and will do anything in his power to ensure a safe and stable life for his daughter. It is more or less his protocol to make sure she is happy. This is where the simplest of strategies takes effect. It is easy to for the daughter to push the father’s natural sense of duty past necessity and into extravagance. I personally have seen this very scenario play out in real life through one of my ex’s. The habit of having everything so accessible through her father made the temptation to abuse that right evident. Naturally this is when penis envy goes into full effect. The opportunity is seized and then becomes the new habit. Being a single father it is sad to say he is easiest of prey. The role of provider has been abused and many times beyond reproach.
The family scenario does however incorporate many different levels of involvement. As easily as the father to daughter or provider to offspring relationship can be abused so can seniority status between siblings. It is natural from there to be a sense of rank between siblings usually defined by age and to a lesser extent gender. However, when the eldest of that situation is a female and there are younger male subordinates there is an opportunity for the female to act out her penis envy. I myself, have both an older and younger sister. I can testify to the presence of penis envy in a sibling relationship. When there is an opportunity to abuse power I s more than likely the person will take it. In my situation that was the case. I dealt with submitting to my older sister despite the fact many times is simply an abuse of power or rank. To another extent this kept me from passing on the power trip to my younger sister as I was the only male. When I was challenged by my younger sister it often led to my older sister intervening on her behalf. I was simply outnumbered and had very little I could do in my own defense.
On a larger scale it is natural for any human being to seek a mate. It is our protocol as mammals and sentient beings eventually branch out from our immediate family. This is where we as people play trial and error with our significant others in pursuit of finding a compatible match. Unfortunately this is yet another outlet for women to act on their penis envy. Not to say all women simply search for men they can control but it does happen on different levels. Sometimes this is very apparent in the case of a “vamp” or “succubus”. These terms refer to women that blatantly use men to acquire or accomplish certain things. In the words of Annie Lennox, “Some of them want to use you, some of them want to be abused.” Other women are a little more subtle about their methods, but then again we are all guilty of manipulating our significant others in one way or another. I myself try to steer clear of similar situations but I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy spoiling my own female counter parts. In a sense this situation can be viewed as more of a case of personal judgment but there is definitely a clear and present opportunity for penis envy to influence this relationship.
As part of a larger social structure our society has it’s own ways of distinguishing authority and rank. Specifically in our modern day world a person regardless of gender can own certain items to try to establish themselves as a powerful force. Penis envy has a very powerful role here. As men go through their lives they want certain things to represent them and their accomplishments. Men will go out and buy a house, sports car, or even just a big gun. Women are subject to the same kind of symbolism. Penis envy can be acted out through the same kind of agents. A woman can acquire these same things to in a sense compete on the same level. Although with the exception of the gun I do not believe material possessions necessarily hold any kind of bearing with status. In the words of Jadakiss, “Whoever got the most ratchets (guns) is in power.” In our current society this is true. In the last couple of generations however woman have been more frequently taking jobs that involve the use of force. By all means, if a woman wants to put herself in the line of fire to feel more powerful that is her problem. Putting herself in harm’s way though, she cannot be shocked that she can meet the same fate as male in that same position. More than ever there are now women in the armed forces and law enforcement. To a lesser extent the urban or street level society as well which is definitely structured by force as power. I happen to think women in uniform are attractive. Specifically female officers of the NYPD which would otherwise also fit the regular criteria I look for in a female. Then again, I am far from a model citizen so this leads back the source of penis envy. The want for something you cannot have.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Museum of the Moving Image

The visit last week to the Museum of the Moving Image was very productive. It actually was a factor in deciding to stay with a liberal arts major instead of transferring to business next semester as I had planned. In a sense it opened my eyes to the power that visual production has in relaying any message. If you can keep a person interested and appeal to them in a way they can grasp you have opened them to absorbing what you want to tell them. Specifically for this cluster I think it was a very inspirational tool. It showed another side of what we've been discussing since day 1 in this class, the power of what you see. Although I was late to meet up with the rest of the class I feel the exhibits I did see were very interesting. Particularly the carousel under the strobe light. Odd how something can tell a completely different story depending on it's movement and lighting. I did a lot of my own experimenting with the exhibits instead of sticking with the class but I think it probably is a good chance for people in the class to mingle as well and interact in a different environment. It definitely came right on time too. Just late enough in the semester where a majority of the work should either be done or close to it, but late enough where learning based on comparison to the content in this class was possible. The trip was on point. It should definitely stay in Dr. Smith's layout in this class for future students taking this course.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

"Digital Writer" Response and Reflection

The best possible way to view your work from different angles is definitely to compare other people's works in reference to how it evolved from scratch. I'd like to think that by now I do have some sort of formula that works for written productions. However, there is always room for improvement. The 103 students' work I did review seemed very well thought out. I specifically like Paola's paper. Her narrative style of telling the story through a course of events really drew my attention. I personally grasp the idea better when I can follow the cause and effect of events. This started with a core idea, details which sparked a course of events and outline a means to an end. The end in this case being a new beginning. Written works such as these are definitely an art form. The only setback I can say that runs uniformly through out everyone's works that I've read this semester is time. I personally tryed to cut this factor out of the equation all together. I figured I can maximize my time by tending to two other necessities in a work place. These would be comfort and accessibility. Getting a hold of video editing software for my home PC was definitely the wisest move I've made this semester. Much like a written work though I started with a core idea, layed down the track work and filled in the gaps. The 103 students' works as seen through the process of production helped me see the bigger picture from the beginning. Much appreciation to both them and Dr. Smith.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Final Project Research

12.07.09 ---> I have finally completed my final project. It was tedious learning how to run through the technical aspects of chopping and re-attaching the "Matrix" film segments. In my attempt to veer away from Kung-Fu fight scenes I felt I was producing too much of a lyric to action association which in my opinion was stale. Also I felt I was not paying proper homage to the film itself by not including the signature aspects of the movie. The film itself revolutionized special effects for it's time majorly with the use of "Bullet Time". Not including these features would just be wrong. In my final review the empty time fit perfectly for cinematic effect at the end of the actual beat on the audio track. I also chose to omit the dialogues I was going to use at the end of the KRS-One track. The track itself does deal with a racial issue but unfortunately the 1 main black character in the film for the most part gets beat up in every fight scene he is in with Agent Smith. This is 1 aspect I was not trying to include. Sorry Morpheus. Although I tend to wait til the last day of presentations to show my work I have posted the video on YouTube so anyone that actually keeps up with my blog can get a sneak peek. Enjoy!


11.29.09 ---> At this point the production is at the "ugly draft" stage in terms of comparison to a written work. There are a couple of kinks I still have to figure out. This mostly consists of linking the original "Matrix" audio track to that of the song's at the beginning and end. Another set back is coming up with four and a half minutes of relevant content. Although the amazing fight scenes in the film run well over the length of the audio track I want it to consist of more than Neo's crew kicking ass with Kung-Fu. I am considering running real life riot footage in the gaps. This will partner up well with the "Matrix" footage but I must carefully select what to include as some riot footage may be too graphic for scholastic use. All in all I'd say this production is shaping up well. I just hope everyone can appreciate the message.


11.24.09 ---> Much to my own surprise I actually have something I can be proud of in the works. The clips I have already incorporated into the blend have provided me with a sort of skeleton infrastructure to work with. There will most likely also be short movie samples at the beginning and end of the audio track. Not to give too much away in details, but both samples consist of three to four line dialogues this production could just not go without. I am strongly considering sticking to the first "Matrix" film though. Since it has already been screened in class I figure it will be the easiest for everyone to relate with. I don't want to lose any viewers by basing the segment on visual content some may have not seen yet. Although in my opinion the audio track it dead-on with the comparison I am making, I don't want to put too much weight on the audience necessarily appreciating the song. After all the KRS-One track is in there because personally, I like it. At this point I think this work in progress is maturing at a steady pace. Despite the fact that I enjoy the whole creative editing process it does eventually become tedious. Now that it's coming together I don't find myself dreading the deadline as much. However, time IS of the essence.


11.17.09 ---> Well much like every other academic duty I've ever encountered I have waited damn near close to the last minute to get started. Procrastination, the story of my life. I am currently reviewing clips from the entire "Matrix" trilogy to see which best suit the context I would like to use them in. Although I was warned that taking the video modification assignment as opposed to the other four options would be difficult despite sounding the funnest I am almost certain I can produce a work that applies directly to the topic. I am doing a "Matrix" themed revision of KRS-One's classic "Sound of the Police". It meets the criteria of social relevance as well as producing an opportunity to truly tie in the subtle but apparent similarities between different characters and their real world counter parts. Agent Smith to the police and Neo's crew to that of anyone wanting real freedom for starters. Selecting clips however if anything, is the easy part. The true test of accomplishment will be working lab time in M121 into my already hectic schedule. They say "where there's a will, there's a way." We'll see.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Essay 3.1

It is sometimes difficult to distinguish the difference between experiences that are real and unreal. The study of deciphering the two is referred to as metaphysics. This is a method of categorizing certain aspects and traits to determine if they are based in reality or merely an imaginary simulation of the senses.
There are two very important factors you must consider when reviewing the difference between real and unreal. These are the source of ontological status of whatever is in question. Ontological status refers to it's dependency on something else to exist. Source refers to what caused it to come into being. By being able to backtrack the source you should be able to better understand what it depends on for it's existence. Something that is real can function on it's own and needs no source to derive itself from. On the other hand something that is unreal can be traced to being dependent on a source to exist. Gracia and Sanford argue that "the unreal world has a weaker ontological status because it depends on things in the real world for it's existence." (p.62) A prime example is "The Matrix". It is a false reality created by machines in the real world and depends on programs and signals to operate. When you dream, although at the moment things may seem real they are only because you are relating them too things you recognize in the real world. In essence those dreams are dependant on the real world.
Knowing the source of what you encounter is key to recognizing the unreal from the real. Gracia and Sanford state "We experience various simulations in our dreams and in different types of hallucinations; we designate the entities encountered in such experiences as not being real; we are confronted with other phenomena about which we wonder whether they really are as they appear to be; and we are affected in our real lives as much by fact as by fictions". (p.65) Although a dream can seem to be real it is only because it has it's basis in reality. This however can lead us to recognize things from dreams in the real world. This does not mean the dream is the source though.
The real world is independent. Gracia and Sanford state "One way of determining ontological status is in terms of dependence." (p.61) We recognize the real world because we can not track it's source. It functions on it's own and does not need delegation from an outside source. This is why we can use it as a reference source in determining what is unreal. In order for you to recognize something in the unreal world you would have to had encountered it in reality at some point and remembered it. Everything in the real world has an effect on you and registers in the mind . This is how it is possible for you to even examine the unreal world and categorize it metaphysically. If you can brake down somethings source in essence it is unreal.

Boundaries & Networks

We all live in a day and age where we are linked by global networks and divided by invisible but very real boundaries. We rely on these to manage and in a sense be managed in our everyday lives. In essence, we are "connecting creatures who must always separate and who cannot connect without separating." (p.8, Me++) Knowing our place within these liberties and limitations can help us better understand where our lives stand.
I feel that me, myself have for the most part the same freedoms and constraints like most other people I associate with. Being human, I am a single cell in the network of humanity. I nakedly consist of flesh and bones. My dwelling provides me with creature comforts that enable me to do a majority of my interactions from home. Here I am simply clothed in a single layer of clothing that does not include shoes or any kind of hats or gloves. When venturing out of my home I must equip myself properly. I wear sneakers to ease my feet as I am on them all day either standing or roaming. If it is cold out I upgrade to boots and cover my extremities with a hat and gloves. Ontop of that single layer of clothing I must also layer up wit a hoodie and jacket.
My networks much like others consist of my daily activities and errands. When I attend class I am linked to students attending the same school and more directly to students that take the classes I do. When I run errands I am linked to my neighbors who shop at the same stores, play poker at the same parks and drink at the same bars. All of these are linked together by my common method of transportation, the "Iron Horse" or subway. In all these environments however I experience the same limitations most people. In school my instructors set the codes of conduct as the school sets the time frame I am in attendance there. When I am at a store the management sets the price I pay for items. When I am at the park the police regulate my conduct with penalties for certain actions. When i am the bar the bartender decides when I get my drinks and where I may smoke. By far the most significant of my limitations is my mode of transportation. The MTA decides when my train comes, when I arrive at my destination and how much I must pay to use it's services.

Research Narrative

The process involved in creating my midterm research paper was a tedious but refreshing experience. I do remember the actual song and dance of outlining and revising drafts but after all it has been 5 years since I have had any kind of academic duty so it's fair to say I was more then a bit rusty. Regardless, I was able to produce, in my opinion, a semi-decent paper. I did not manage to touch on all the topics I covered in my power point but I think the material I did cover was well presented. If I had to go back and do it over I probably wouldn't procrastinate as much. Time by far was the hardest factor to deal with in this assignment. Luckily the assignment counted towards 2 classes. If I had to produce 2 separate works I would've mostly likely done poorly on both. All in all I'd say it was a good way to learn how to manage assignments like this better in the future. I like to think of my writing style as a work in progress, after all that is why I am in this class.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Truman Show

The Truman Show is a perfect lens in which to view your surroundings for what they are. This is a particularly odd scenario but none the less truly makes you reflect on the way you view your life or better yet how people view yours. The character Truman Burbank much like everyone else sees his reality and interprets it as the uncontrollable truth of the environment he lives in. Little does he know that he is actually the center of a show that is viewed worldwide. He is not aware of this because he has been limited to his hometown of Newhaven as it has been capsuled in a huge dome. His limited view of the world around him more then proves his version of reality is far from real.
Reality changes for Truman as he slowly notices the subtle but apparent evidence of the fraud that he knows as his life. Many of these inconsistencies stem from the repetition he notices in his environment. For example, once he has an inkling as to what may be going on he starts to analyze his surroundings. He notices the same people following the same routine everyday to the point where he can count the amount of times people circled his block and was able to pinpoint exactly how long it would take them to come back around. At this point he experiments his theory and attempts to leave his town of Newhaven. After noticing that he has been blocked by convenient series of events every time he nears the exits he is convinced.
At this point he is faced with a decision we all must face at some time or another in our lives. The choice to leave the nest or move out the box if you will. Although the life he lives in Newhaven is sheltered and he will never have to experience the cruel and harsh realities of real life, he knows there is more out there. There is in a sense a brave new world. A world he has not experienced, full of many outcomes and possibilities he will never know in his hometown. Despite the appreciation there should be for anyone venturing out on there own I seriously doubt he could make it in the world on his own. He is a grown man and set in his ways. For him to adapt to the outside world this late in his life would truly be a miracle.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Fate or Free Will

It is difficult to believe that everything in your life is predetermined. Although Schick does raise some very alarming and well based views on the differences between the belief in fate and the concept of free will. I, myself was raised Christian. Despite the fact that I do not agree with a lot of what has become part of the package deal of organized religion it has instilled a sense of pre-ordained purpose through out my life. I do believe everything happens for a reason.

Events being seen from the present moment can always be back tracked to a series of events that led to that occurrence at that moment. Looking at it through that lens makes it a predetermined event. You can judge it in such a way knowing what caused it but how can you possibly apply that same lens in mapping the future. This is where the possibility of free will comes into play. I think that you can make personal choices that lead you to experience certain events. Although you can rationalize the cause and effect that made that event possible the opportunity to redirect the future effects of the present cause is there. Instead of seeing it as a steady stream of predetermined events I see it more like those chapter books where you decide alternative outcomes by choosing the ending for every chapter.

Free will is the choice you have in every action you take. Sometimes you can predict the outcome of these choices but sometimes it is more like a game of chance. I agree with Immanuel Kant's view that what determines whether you've led a good life is not the kind of experiences you've had, but the kind of choices you've made. A person can also rely on seeing things as fate predetermining their life. In a sense that is also a choice. They've chosen to ignore free will and just take things as they come. My best analysis of the bigger picture is that the events in your life are more of a conglomerate of events you have power over and some events that are just out of your control. I believe a good life is adapting to what you can't change and using your wisdom to judge the choices you can make.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The Metaphysics of the Matrix

When arguing the existence of "The Matrix" or how it is separate from reality you must first understand how to make the distinction between the two. This system of analyzing and categorizing the traits which make them different is known as metaphysics. This method of organized investigation serves as a powerful tool in being able to argue either side. It is fundamental to understand that although there are many similarities it is the relation of their differences that makes their contrast so evident.
In "The Matrix and Philosophy" Jorge Gracia and Jonathan Sanford state that to even begin to distinguish the differences between the real world and "The Matrix" you must first ontologically analyze the source of each characteristic. The 2009 edition of the Random House dictionary defines ontology as the branch of metaphysics that studies the nature of existence or being as such. Essentially, to categorize each characteristic you must find the source or origin. The simplest difference between reality and "The Matrix" is that we do not know what causes reality. "The Matrix" however originates from reality. It was created and functions solely from it's creator. Someone or something had to create the concept and then map it out before producing it and eventually activating it.
Reality exists independently. "The Matrix" however is completely dependant on it's source. Everything in "The Matrix" stems from an order or program that was written for it. The whole concept of it is that it is a complex program that creates a sort of parallel reality. Gracia and Sanford best explain it as viewing each characteristic through the same lens. To know if something is real or not you must know it's source. If it was created by something you already know to be real then it is clearly a production and not real. The source of reality is unknown but you know you exist on the same plain as it and live in it. After all that's all you got

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Do We Live Or Dream Through Reality?

When asking yourself the question, "Do we live in The Matrix?" you must first analyze how real you consider reality to be. The difference between dreaming while you sleep and living your everyday life while awake can sometimes be very subtle in the sense that you still recognize objects, locations and people. That's what makes dreams interpretable, their relation to your life as you experience it awake. The concept of reality is questionable though when you consider that these things you recognize may not be real. You may just as easily be encountering these things because you are relating them in your life to something you have only encountered in your dream.

In Socrates's "Allegory of the Cave" he argues that simply liberating the prisoner may not necessarily make him come to terms with reality by being liberated from his visual captivity. He has been fixed to only see shadows on a wall his whole life. Allowing him to see what caused the shadows may not even cause him to have a better understanding of the shadows. He may not recognize or even make a connection between certain objects and the shadows they cast because it has no basis in his reality as he knows it. His lack of acknowledgement of these objects does not make them any more or less real. In the same sense with things you know to be real because you encounter them everyday does not necessarily mean that if you were to better understand how they have come to exist you would accept it. Vice versa, if you were to encounter something in a dream that seems familiar from everyday life, and then were to come to realization that it's existence relies on something new or unknown to you would it shake up your view on it in your life awake? Or in essence do these things exist at all in dream or your everyday life?

You rely on your sences to regester what you are seeing and feeling. In Descartes's "Meditations on First Philosophy", he argues that our senses can be very deceptive. Perhaps even to the extent that you may classify things as real only because it has regestered as something familiar. You recognize things in your dreams because you know them well from your everyday life. Your take on reality is what you are basing these judgements on. In dreaming you have nothing to refrence a new idea or object to. Perhaps neither should be your reference considering your reality awake is based on your senses. Considering this basis on reality may be wrong as your senses can be deceptive the difference between dreaming and your life awake may not be so different at all. Or maybe you have no knowledge on the awake reality because you drift from dream to dream. Every session of being awake ends and begins with sleep. You dream while you sleep.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

The Matrix

The story of Neo's life in "The Matrix" can be compared to many similar characters through out history. A well based comparison can be that of Neo and the epic story of Jesus. Both endure similar trials and tribulations before embracing their calling. Although they both understand their mission they are full of doubt early in their development. Both eventually realize that they do serve an important purpose and that they are in fact capable of succeeding in there mission.
Another similar character is Socrates. Much like Neo he also questions his calling and is filled with doubt as to if he truly is the right person for the job. They both encounter an oracle that provides if not answers to silence their doubt, at least a point in the right direction. In a sense maybe not answers but more so the right questions. Both are weighed with the burden saving and enlightening their people.
One of Socrates best known works regarding enlightenment is "The Allegory of the Cave". Much like "The Matrix" it deals with the search for the truth. The mere idea of a bigger picture can be shocking to someone who knows and believes only what they have seen. To be able to think outside the box and consider that there is more going on then what you know and see is in a sense like walking out of the cave into the light. At this point the question of being able to accept this new knowledge is what makes the difference. You can choose to step back into ignorance and deny that there is more then what you know or you can embrace this new concept and use it to progress, in essence the choice between "the red and blue pill" as illustrated in "The Matrix".
The film itself is a direct commentary on how we accept what is presented to us through the media or how we can seek out our own answers as to what is going on around us. So much of our day to day lives relies on how we view the world we live in. If we are to only follow as told we have accepted our lives in "The Matrix" and are content with the guidelines we have been given. This however does not leave room for forming your own views and opinions. If we choose to question or look further into the information we are provided with we may be shocked at what we find. In the end isn't it better to know then to just follow blindly tho?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Allegory of the Cave

Socrates’ “Allegory of The Cave” fascinates me because it describes stages of enlightenment that anyone can be categorized under. No matter what your interests are you always have the choice to accept what you already know or question it in pursuit of a broader understanding. The age old quarrel of “Light versus Darkness” has been a reoccurring theme throughout history. For every new idea, there is always someone to criticize it. Without that critic though, there would never be a need for self-improvement.

As far as myself in the cave, I believe I am slowly but surely taking baby steps into the light. As an adolescent I always questioned why my life was the way it was, and what I can do to make what I want out of it. Looking back though, I was far from out of the cave. I hated how people were so ignorant as to social flaws and authoritative hypocrisy. This somehow led me to try to step out of this machine of thought. I eventually learned that sporting a Mohawk, a studded leather jacket, and Doc Martins combat boots was not thinking freely. I merely had gone from interpreting shadows to taking a glimpse at the fire. Although it was a far stretch from my Christian upbringing, it was not the answer I was looking for.

Over the last couple of years I have been satisfied with knowing what caused the shadows. I’ve recently come to realize that is not enough. My concept of the world I live in has expanded to not only wanting to understand, but learning more about how knowledge of all aspects of this world work in unison with my day to day life. I have returned to school in pursuit for the light outside the cave. Ignorance is bliss, but simply being satisfied with what I already know doesn’t enable me to change anything. Living in the light is the most powerful tool I can have to mold my life into what I want.